Jan's Journal New and Improved
by sarameyester
Summary: This is Jan's Journal, but re-written...ALMOST completely different! Please read and let me know what you think!


_Jan is in the middle of her session with Dr. Perry. She just finished telling her what happened with her and Michael and how they're living together now._

_Dr. Perry didn't see that coming. Really. Everything Jan's told her in the past about Michael and how she feels about him, she never thought that this day would come, "You guys are living together?"_

_Even Jan is surprised that they're living together. They haven't been together __that _long. It was kinda fast. She takes a deep sigh, "Yeah. As of yesterday."

Just when Dr. Perry didn't think she could be more surprised, it leaves her astounded, "Oh! Wow." She was expecting to hear 'a month' maybe 'two'? Even 'a few weeks' but not 'as of yesterday'.

"Yeah, so I've been kind of busy unpacking…"

"But not too busy to schedule an impromptu session?" She knows that Jan is stressed out about moving in. Not just the moving in part. It's the moving in with Michael Scott that's stressful. Jan hasn't had a session with Dr. Perry for about 2 or 3 months now. So Dr. Perry figures that during the last couple months there had to be an 'I love you Michael' somewhere, because no way would Jan ever decide to move in with him if she didn't even love him the slightest bit. "I take it, then, that you ARE in love with this man. Consid…"

Dr. Perry cant even finish her sentence before Jan jumps in, a little offended, "What? No! What...why on earth would you think that?"

"You guys are living together."

"I know. We've established that."

"So you're not even the slightest…"

"No! I'm NOT in love with Michael!"

"Then what are you?"

"Look! Just because we're living together doesn't mean that we have to be in love! He _just_ offered his home to me, because he figured I'd…"

"He _just _offered his home to you? God what an asshole. Who could love someone like that?"

"So every time a some guy offers his home to me, we _have_ to be in love?"

"Is Michael _some _guy to you?"

Dr. Perry brings up an excellent point. Michael isn't just _some_ guy. But still, how could Jan be in _love_ with him? 

"I want you to try something Jan."

"What? Another one of your weird exercises? Do I have to close my eyes for this? Or maybe I should be sitting Indian style?"

Jan's sarcasm was not helping. Dr. Perry really wants to help her but she's so damn sarcastic all the time, she's beginning to give up on Jan and begins to think that maybe there _is_ no hope for helping her. "Fine, forget it. If that's how you feel, then I guess I can't help you." She looks at the clock, "well good session today…I feel like we've accompli…"

Jan hates it when she does this. Where she acts all upset with her so she'll cave in and ends up pleading for her to tell her what exercise she wants her to try. "Okay. Okay. What is it? What do you want me to do?"

Dr. Perry waits, like she always does, to make sure that she has Jan's full attention. She waits, as always, letting Jan get her 'jokes' about the exercise out of the way. So there was that _one_ time she had her close her eyes for an exercise. Maybe there _was _that time she had her sit Indian style, but they ended up accomplishing a lot. Even if Jan _was_ being stubborn just about the whole time. This exercise, however, is a pretty simple one. An exercise that involves Jan doing in her own time. 

"I want to you to start writing a journal. I want you, starting today, to write down any feelings you may have. Anything that may be on your mind."'Isn't this why I'm seeing you?' Jan thought. She crosses her arms and takes one big blink, "And what is this going to accomplish?"

"Trust me. Writing down anything that may be on your mind. Anything that may be upsetting you-lifts a great weight off your shoulder's. Its like venting-on paper."

"Well, why can't I just call you and vent to you-on phone?" 

Dr. Perry knew that was coming. She knew that Jan is very witty when it comes to sarcasm. So in response to her mockery about her metaphor, she already has a comeback for her, "Because I don't have that much time. So will you at least try it. Give it a week."

"Fine."

Later-Jan arrives back to the Michael's condo. It's really going to take some time before she can actually call it 'their place' or 'her home', especially since it's not like she'll be paying the rent or the other bills. Until she does, she's strictly living at Michael's condo. It's not even that she doesn't _want_ to help out with the bills, its just Michael insists that she lives there rent free. That'll change once she gets a job. _If_ she gets a job. 

She made a run to Target. Even though she doesn't plan on actually doing this stupid exercise, at least she can tell Dr. Perry that she tried. Or attempted to try. She hates how Dr. Perry never explains to her what the exercises are supposed to accomplish. She just responds with 'that's for you to find out'. She usually throws in another lame psychiatrist line too. 

Who knows? Maybe it'll give her something to do, once she's all settled in. She takes a long look around the condo with her hands on her hips, looking at all of the boxes that need to be unpacked. She takes a deep breath, looks at her Target bag, and thinks that she'll have plenty of time to unpack later. So that's that, she's going to write in her journal. Shh…just don't tell Dr. Perry. 

She grabs the journal out of the Target bag and goes to the couch to try to get comfy. It's a little hard to get comfy and relax, when there's a bazillion boxes that need to be unpacked. She goes to write her first entry. She puts the tip of her pen to the paper. She puts the pen back down. _'God! This is so stupid'_ What is she going to write about, really? There's nothing _to_ write about. Let's face it. This exercise sucks! She gets up and puts the pen and journal down on the coffee table. 

"What time is it?" She looks at the clock on the microwave. It kept blinking 12:00. _'God Michael! How long have you lived here? You can't even set your stupid clock!' _Sighing, once again, at how annoying it was to her. It's not really a big deal. Maybe she's just PMS-ing. Who knows? She grabs her cell phone to check the time: 4:47. _'Michael should be home soon.' _She decides to set the microwave clock for him. It's the least she could do. Hell, she's decides to set his other microwave to the right time too. Which reminds her to ask him the story behind the two microwaves. Sure she's spent plenty of nights there with him. Hell-he's probably told her before, but she probably wasn't really listening. Not to mention, they weren't necessarily in the kitchen. If you know what I mean. Well there was the ONE time they…well you get the idea. And it was actually 7 times…but that's really irrelevant. Jan just never took the time to _really_ notice or care why he had 2 microwaves or the fact that they were blinking 12:00. She's going to be noticing a lot more around the condo, as it slowly becomes hers. 

She takes another glance at the journal and thinks that maybe she should write about how annoyed she is with Michael. Or maybe she should unpack a box? Maybe she should throw on some music? She just noticed the complete silence that filled the condo. She's so used to the sound of New York City. She decides to make a little compromise with herself. She'll turn on some soft rock tunes and try to write an entry in her Journal. And once Michael gets home, she can be done writing. At least for the time being. 

It wasn't very long before Michael would be getting home. Jan wrote in her journal, just a few things. She vaguely wrote that she was annoyed she had to set the clocks, but then mentioned how silly she thought it was to be upset about it. She also mentioned how the only woman Michael has ever lived with was his mother. Ah, his mom. Jan was going to meet her this weekend. She was very nervous, for some reason. She isn't usually nervous about meeting mom's. Basically because she never cared what they thought of her. This time, however, with it being Michael's mom, she was terrified. She actually wrote THAT in her journal as well and how _'if Michael is anything like his mother, then that's just great.' _She also had to mention that _that_ statement was sarcastic and how the journal wouldn't know that because well, it's a damn journal! And that's how she ended her entry. 

Just in time, 5:15, Michael should be home…

5:20 rolls around, 5:25 rolls around. _'Where the hell is Michael?' _Jan paces the floor. He should've been home 10 minutes ago. With every look out side the window to check if he's home, she gets more and more worried. She takes another look at the clock. 5:30. "Where is he? He should've been home by…"

Just then Michael comes walking in the door, "Hey, how's it going?"

Jan tries her hardest not to sound upset since he was late, but still wants to get on his case a little since he didn't call her to tell her, "Hey you. I was getting worried."

Michael's surprised to hear that coming from Jan, of all people. As he puts his arms around her, "Really? That's so sweet." He kisses her. 

Did she actually say that she was worried? Whoops! Something she didn't mean to say. She tries to lie and make something up, for what its worth, "Did I say 'worry'? I meant 'bored'. There's nothing to do around here." She _knows_ that's not true since there's all of those boxes that need to be unpacked.

"I've got a great idea. You could unpack." Michael laughs slightly. Jan moving in is a bit stressful on him, too. Although, he has to admit how much he loved coming home to her right now. He looked at all the boxes and noticed that it looked like she did nothing all day. 

"That's not boring to you?" They laugh.

"You know what _I _was getting worried about?" He takes her by the hand as they sit down on the couch.

"What?"

"I was worried that you weren't going to be here." 

"Why wouldn't I be here?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe you moving in yesterday was all just a dream. Or that maybe you came to your senses and decided to get out of here."

Jan smiles, "Ah, but where would I go? I think I'm stuck here for awhile." 

"Well you can stay here as long as you like! Doesn't bother me none."

"I'll have to remember that next time you kick me out." 

Wow. Is Jan making a joke? Michael actually understood this one. Jan _has _joked around before, but usually its something about business, or politics. But _this_, this one was good. So good, he can actually come back with something funny, hopefully, without getting a look like he's crazy. "Well just don't eat all my food and you should be okay." They laugh. "Speaking of food, have you eaten yet?"

"Nope. Nothing."

"Really? All day?"

Jan thinks about it. Wow! She's been so busy running around all day that she forgot to eat. "Hmm…I guess not. Its not a big deal."

"Jan! Remember what I said…you don't need to act all weird around here. Mi casa es su casa. Help yourself"

"I remember. You told me like 8 times last night." She let's out a little laugh. 

Remembering the night before. Their first night together. Their first night _living_ together, that is. Michael was giving her a tour of everything. She told him that she is very well aware where everything is and that it was pointless to give her a tour. Every two feet that they took, Michael said _'mi casa es su casa'_. Jan's pretty sure that those are the only 5 words in Spanish that Michael knows. But he still showed her where the bathrooms were, and the bedrooms. The tour ended in Michael's bedroom. They were pretty exhausted from moving everything in, that they just crashed on the bed. A few kisses here and there. A couple of _I love you_'s from Michael, followed by Jan kissing him so he'd hopefully stop saying it. At least for the night. They spent their first night in each other's arms. No sex, as Jan calls it. No love making, as _Michael_ calls it.

"So you must have a lot on your mind?"

Here, Michael thought that maybe she had so much on her mind, about moving in and how stressful it might be, that she wasn't thinking about food. She takes a deep breath, since she was thinking that _would_ be a great excuse for not eating, "Apparently not."

"What do you mean?" 

She sighs, "Oh its just Dr. Perry suggested that I start keeping a journal. So I go to Target, pick up my journal, get home, get comfy on the couch, when it came to actually writing in it, my mind froze. I had nothing to write about, well, except how lame writing in a journal was." She laughs.

"So do you think you'll keep up with it?"

"Probably not. Especially if my mind goes blank again. I'm not even sure what this is supposed to accomplish. Maybe it's _supposed_ to make my mind blank….like it should clear my mind or something…"

"Yeah, or maybe you just need something to eat."

Agreeing with him, "That could be it, too."

"Or you could just be going though what I go through sometimes. Writer's block. It happens every now and then with writers. Where their mind goes completely blank."

Jan's pretty positive she heard him right, but _just_ to make sure, trying not to laugh , of course, she's actually interested in what he has to say. "You've had writer's block?" 

Michael is totally oblivious to Jan's almost mocking statement, "Well I don't like to admit it. But yes. Remind me to show you my screenplay sometime."

Just when Jan didn't think that she could be more interested in what he was saying, he goes and tells her that he wrote a screenplay. "A screenplay?"

Michael instantly becomes anxious and excited to tell her all about it. "Yeah, its about this agent guy who tries to save the world, but his idiotic sidekick is causing the downfall of the United States. He also needs to try and save a woman in trouble, Miss Zeta-Jones."

"Wow. That sounds, uh, interesting?" _Don't laugh Jan. Don't laugh._

"It really is. I'll be sure to bring home a copy with me tomorrow with my drawings." 

She can't help it anymore. She almost chokes on her own spit, "Drawings? You-you have drawings?"

"Sure do! How else are you supposed to know what Michael Scarn looks like?"

It was this oblivion that Michael has that makes Jan's stomach do somersaults. Here-she's pretty much mocking his story, making fun of him, but he's still excited more than ever about it, to the point where he really thinks that this could be made into something big some day. "So _this _is what you really do all day at work huh?"

"For the most part."

Jan decides that she's heard enough. "So how _was _work anyways? Do you miss me?"

"Yeah. It's pretty weird not having you around on my butt 27/7."

She just stares at him and waits to hear that famous line of his…

"What?"

She shakes her head, "Nothing. I'm just starting to think that you might be growing up. You didn't say 'that's what she said'." 

He thinks about it. "Wow. You're right. What's wrong with me?"

Jan let's out a laugh as she pats his thigh. "It's a good thing. Trust me."

He shrugs it off, and continues on to what he was going to say, "Well I love knowing that you're waiting for me here." He kisses her sweetly. He pulls away and smiles at her.

She pulls him closer, into another kiss, "Thank-you." Gives him another kiss.

Michael looks at her quizzically, "For what?"

"Well, for opening up your home to me. It really means a lot." 

"Well I couldn't let ya be homeless."

"Really? After how I've treated you in the past. I mean this was your chance to get revenge on me!" She laughs.

"Exactly. It's in the past. No biggie. Its. Over. And. Done. With." With each word he said, he gave her a kiss. Each kiss getting longer with each word he was saying. "I mean, to be honest. I _was_ a little nervous, you moving in here. But now? It's nothing to worry about."

That's all that Jan needed. Even though, she might not be able to say those three tiny words that he so desperately needs, _deserves_, to hear, all she needed to know is where Michael really stood with her. She was his. He was hers. No matter what. "You wanna move this to the bedroom?"

"No." He kisses her again. 

"What? You want to…right here?" Not like it's a huge deal. They've done it there before. She was just making sure. She gets more comfortable on the couch as she pulls him in for another kiss.

"No. I want to get you something to eat." Before he has enough time to get up, Jan pulls on his tie and pulls him back on top of her.

"But I want you." She gives him a hot kiss.

"Hmmm….You can have me for dessert." His brows tell her all she needs to know.

"Mmm, sounds tasty." 

"Good." He gets up, "How about we go to…The vineyard?"

"The Vineyard? You mean to tell me there's more than a Chili's around here?"

Later that night, they're in the bedroom, getting ready for bed. Michael is in the shower. Jan's on the bed, writing in her journal. Something she thought that she wouldn't be doing. But she really wanted to write about what a great time they had, and how Michael only embarrassed her a few times. When usually it's the whole night. He really must be growing up or something. She's not going to hold her breath, though. I mean, it's only been _one_ day. She learned a lot about him too. Stuff that she was actually interested in. So maybe not only is Michael growing up, but she's learning to enjoy the more simple things in life. Its not going to happen over night, but she's getting there, that's for sure. 

She learned a lot more about his mom, since she's going to be meeting her very soon. She's still a little nervous. She hasn't met anybody's parents since Richard's. And his parents were horrible. They were rich and successful and snooty. Richard was an only child too. After Richard, Jan made a promise to herself. _Never get involved with another only child' _Although, with Michael, it was different. He's an only child, but doesn't act like it at all. He acts childish-sure-but not to the point of Richard, where, if he wants something, he wants it and he wants it _now_. Michael is more giving. He's more like if _you _want something, he'll be sure you get it. Jan's pretty sure, then, that it's how you raise the child. Which makes her think that if Michael and his mother are anything alike then that's just great. Without the sarcasm.


End file.
